~Maths jokes~

A mathematician is flying non-stop from Edmonton to Frankfurt with AirTransat. The scheduled flying time is nine hours. Some time after taking off, the pilot announces that one engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "Don't worry - we're safe. The only noticeable effect this will have for us is that our total flying time will be ten hours instead of nine." A few hours into the flight, the pilot informs the passengers that another engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "But don't worry - we're still safe. Only our flying time will go up to twelve hours." Some time later, a third engine fails and has to be turned off. But the pilot reassures the passengers: "Don't worry - even with one engine, we're still perfectly safe. It just means that it will take sixteen hours total for this plane to arrive in Frankfurt." The mathematician remarks to his fellow passengers: "If the last engine breaks down, too, then we'll be in the air for twenty-four hours altogether.
_____________________________________________________________________
New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
____________________________________________________________________
Ralph: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?
Dad: No, son, it wouldn't be right.
Ralph: Well, you could try.
___________________________________________________________________
Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far."So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times).15 minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!"One of the men says, "That must have been a mathematician."Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?"The reply: "For three reasons. (1) he took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless."
____________________________________________________________________
Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
___________________________________________________________________
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"
___________________________________________________________________
Four friends have been doing really well in their calculus class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though the exam is scheduled for Monday morning. As it happens, they drink too much at the party, and on Monday morning, they are all hung over and oversleep. When they finally arrive on campus, the exam is already over. They go to the professor's office and offer him an explanation: "We went to our friend's birthday party, and when we were driving back home very early on Monday morning, we suddenly had a flat tire. We had no spare one, and since we were driving on backroads, it took hours until we got help." The professor nods sympathetically and says: "I see that it was not your fault. I will allow you to make up for the missed exam tomorrow morning." When they arrive early on Tuesday morning, the students are put by the professor in a large lecture hall and are seated so far apart from each other that, even if they tried, they had no chance to cheat. The exam booklets are already in place, and confidently, the students start writing. The first question - five points out of one hundred - is a simple exercise in integration, and all four finish it within ten minutes. When the first of them has completed the problem, he turns over the page of the exam booklet and reads on the next one:
Problem 2 (95 points out of 100): Which tire went flat?
___________________________________________________________________
A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane. When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation. "I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your parish - and now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!" "Sorry", the professor interrupts him. "I had never intended to blow up the plane." "So, for what reason else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!" "Let me explain. Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. That's quite high if you think about it - so high that I wouldn't have any peace of mind on a flight." "And what does this have to do with you bringing a bomb on board of a plane?" "You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is 1/1000, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1000000. If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually 1/1000000, and I am much safer..."
___________________________________________________________________
God...ppl keep annoying me with these jokes!

Saranghaeyo~

hey ppl!
Went to S.B. Wetland Reserve wif class 2day. It was raining so I was "trapped" in the car with my mum for bout a 1/2hr. 1st thing when I got down? 2 mosquitoes came 2 greet me. ugh. Unwelcome much?

Ok, so I was abit late but watevers. So I was in 2nd group so we had 2 do the boring worksheet 1st. Yawns~ Ltrs, the mangrove walk started. Bloody hell hors! The floor so damn bumpy...oh ya, coz Mrs Mak divided us into 2 groups so I was stuck wif DH, T_T. ugh.

So while I was going "ow ow ow" coz of tt stupid floor ( I wonder who's the 'tarded person who built dat place), we saw plants, plants and oh look, MORE PLANTS. We were dere just to feed mozzies lor! They must have had a feast. DH keep scaring me leh, keep saying got snakes and making me touch all those icky plants & insects. humph ><

Thankfully, DH tio sorethroat so he couldn't talk much. Poor him...NOT! He'd been 2 S.B. b4 so we decided to stay behind the rest lah. U noe, so we wun haf 2 bear the torture of all those useless facts. Why would those info be important 2 me unless I wanna be a farmer when I grow up? And I do not.

Decided to take a break at this little shelter thingy. Btw, did I mention that we were walking in the POURING RAIN?! So, both of us just sat facing the sea/river (not sure) and talked & laughed and talked. God...I was freezing! I was like drenched. yeah...so while we were dere, I realised that when the raindrops lands on the water, it actually looks like diamonds. It was so beautiful. Coz it was raining cats & dogs, the sea/river looked like it was covered in sparkly diamonds. Haiz...could have stayed dere 4ever, but I couldn't coz we were freezing. aww...

Raindrops + H20 =diamonds

Reached the finishing point waaaaaaaaaaaaay late and Mrs Mak was glaring daggers. 那么小气! Not like we commited a crime isit? obvi not! So went had a little munch time b4 going back 2 school ( I didn't go back, went for lunch. thank god, dun haf 2 see mrs mak's stinkin' face). Me , EeXuan & Vivi brought bags of chips. Scrummy! JH brought sandwiches. Yumbolicious! And DH brought...a sandwich stuffed with VEGGIES. 1 word: puke. He tried stuffing 'em into my mouth & JH said that it was in indirect kiss coz he was oso eating tt, in other words, we were sharing his pukish sandwich (but we weren't, i just gagged. Seriously, it smelled...bleach) So...I threw a handful of chips at her. Sadly, I'd already last my appetite. Boohoo...T_T

Man...I'm sore all over now. Stupid floor. Gonna go eat, thn sleep
Peace out!
Cece♥

Memories~

argh!!!!!! Exams are god damn over and...-voice trails off-....my marks were totally suckish.
Eng-80.5/95
Maths-87.5/100
Chi-61/90 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
Sci-65/100 JH and I were smsing our moans 2 each other in the auditorium.

Urgh. Gonna get kicked outta RED group. Tis is so freakishly bad.
bad bad...

You know...I used 2 hate being in RED group...now? I kinda like it. Its like ur special...like you don't need much help...independent. I rmb that those 3 idiots behind me kept singing "Shut up & Drive~~" Heck, how irritated i was at 1st. Now...if I dun stay in RED group, i'm so gonna miss that. Its weird...I'm nt close to much ppl dere but i'm happier...? A weird girl living in a weird world...

If Mrs Mak gives me another chance so I stay in RED group, I'm gonna work so hard and beat Terence or Ian or Genis. So damn embarassing 2 tio kicked outta RED group...haiz...wad 2 do?

If I wanna remain in my dear elite team, i'll haf 2 stay in dhe top 13 which is....let's see...oh ya. HIGHLY IMPOSSIBLE!

Ha! Maybe Amos is right. Maybe I am very negative. Gaaaah! Wad am I saying?! Ok, i'm juz gonna stop blogging coz I noe i'm blogging crap.

Luv ya ppl!
Cece♥

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EXAM'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
happy happy happy. not nid 2 study liaos!

The A bros

okok. So I haven't been posting for awhile. Hey, its not my fault I have crappy teachers to go with killer exams. Practically had 2 beg my mum 2 lemme use my lappy 4 a pathetic 20min. See how hardworking I am?
Anw, on the eve of Mothers day, we had tis mini party with my maternal gm & my cousins, namely the A bros (Andy. Adrian. Andrew) Heck it was fun! So...Andy & I had a drinking competition. Drinking as in RED WINE. Pure red wine. god......it was gooooooooooood. So we drank & drank till...my dad came & grabbed the bottle away from us. Man, I could have gone on & on. so yummy.....^_^
Ugh. I gtg studying again. 2 more papers 2 go. Haiz...seems like 4ever. Tis sucks.
Kayz.
Gdnites!

爱人=矮人

okok.
Cramming done...for now.
So ytd, Mrs Mak was goinng through our Eng prac paper compre with us lah. I cant believe it can take a person 1 and a half hr to doo that! Anw, as usual, i'd b next to DH coz he's like the only person hu actually doesn't pay attention so we can talk & I wont die of boredom. But unfairly, Mrs Mak made me sit next to Kevin (ugh!). I guess she realised that we weren't paying attention but what the heck, hu cares.

Thn, Mrs Mak was asking us whr we last saw this random article which was in the RD, thn ZQ was like "27 27 27" After tt, mrs mak asked who was index no. 27, which was me so like duh, I raised my hand. Mrs mak said "Why u always say Celine's index no?" Thn every1 was like "oooooooooooooooooh................" My whole face was damn red lors! Thn Kev said that I'd found the perfect mate and I punched him.

As if it wasn't bad enuf, Mrs Mak continued & said (while laughing) " ZQ, u better b careful l8r, DH gonna fight with u. " I mean, over my dead body! Felt like disappearing.
mrs mak : U ppl look at Celine, her face is like a tomato."
Whole class-me: Oooooooooooooooooooohh............" ugh. x.x
Mrs Mak: Celine, is it true?"
Me : Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Argh! I have gotta change schools now. Bye bye my rep. T^T

Seriously, i'm gonna change schools. Wad 2 do?
Haiz...gotta go do hw now.
Toodles!

P.S. After sch, was supposed 2 陪 JH coz she had 2 do 作文改正 but my mum came so i didn't. She's probs gonna murder me now. Oh well. Anw, DH came with me coz he just quit Hope. Thn the usual playing, teasing, blah blah blah...B4 he left, he said "bye bye 矮人 ^_^! " But my mum heard it as "爱人"
mum: wah! She's ur 爱人 arh?"
Us: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. (freaks out)
Me: (Pukes)
mum: but u called her 爱人.
DH: Nooooooooooooooo. I said 矮人
mum: ookay...winks* ^_^
Craps, even my mum's teasing me now. How nice...NOT!
I dun get it. He's slightly shorter thn me. If i'm 矮人 than wadda bout him? Hmm...I'm gonna ask him tmr.

P.P.S. We had this pop quiz buring chi lesson. Did with JH. Coz tch said we couldn't tok, we wrote on our test papers, Thn coz DH kept giving me dhe ans, JH said "He lurves u" & I was writting NO on the test paper & she was writing YES. In the end? Our paper was sooo freakishly colourful

injustly picked on

heck. 2day was sooooooooo embarrassing! tell u ppl laters. gotta cram 4 eng paper2 tmr. The only reason y i'm cramming is coz mrs mak said my compo didn't go well so i cant get my A*. nooooooo....y is the world so unfair?! So no i desperately NEED my A at least so...gotta cram!
toodles!

i still love audi!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bA9pS7crbQ&feature=related

Hihi ppl!
OMG...my dad is like so unfair! Its not rly that bad that I spent 5h on the phone with JH on Sunday right? Hey, if I didn't severe ties with dion, it would have been 10h. Tell him to count his blessings. ugh. -.-"

Anw, Mrs Mak shuffled us ( again ) for our exam seatings. Thank her so much for getting DH away from me! Do u ppl noe how annoying it is?! The suckish thing is tt u cant stay angry at him, even though u REALLY want to, you'll just start laughing. Its so unfair. So now i'm sitting with Pearlyn and Siew Wen. tyty, finally girls! Its about time.

So...every1's like so damn paranoid bout Swine flu. Yeah...4 ppl from our class are down with fever ( Dion, Jolene, Brandon and Amos ). Its really sad...well...for the last 3, 1st 1 I dun really care. Its not that i'm mean, I have my reasons. So Dion came to school with that face mask thingy. At 1st I didn't noe coz I was late for school with MX and Ee xuan ( no big surprise ) and mrs mak was giving them some lecture bout Situational Writing. So I sat in front. Thn JH and DH were waving and pointing to Dion, laughing as well. So I saw her & was like Oh. My. God.
hahaha. 2day is a good day...heck yeah! The face mask thingy was like 3 times too big though her mouth is like...already huge.

Uh...yeah...ugh. Wen Pin's disturbing me again. I'm gonna go kill him.
Tata!